If We Ever Meet Again, a danisnotonfire fanfiction
by lucygrime5
Summary: Lightening strikes twice, as Dan and Emily are brought back together. One year on and Emily had convinced herself that she had moved on, left all her feelings in the past, but will seeing Dan again change things? Can she ever go back to him? Can she ever forgive him? NOT FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**This story is a sequel to 'Inevitable', and if you have not already read that story, then i suggest that you do, by clicking onto my profile and choosing the story from my list.**

**I hope that you enjoy the story, and i am sorry in advance if this isn't up to my usual standard (i have been out of inspiration). Please feel to make a comment at anytime, or drop me message, i am always happy to talk to you guys and i love reading reviews! **

**Thank you for taking the time out to read this and as always, **

**Happy reading!**

**Love,**

**Lucyxx**

**ONE YEAR LATER**

"Come on Dan, you're making us late, _again._" "I'm coming, give me two minutes!" I shout back, struggling to perfect my hair. I flick the few last pieces, that seem to refuse to stay in place. I sigh and give up, tossing the straighteners on the bed.

I walk out and see Phil standing by the door, looking down at his phone. "Sorry." I say, putting on my shoes and jacket, as we head out for a meeting with the BBC, about our radio show.

We end up running into the studios and i know that Phil will be upset with me later on. We just about make it, in to the meeting room as our producer is. "Dan, Phil. Running late were you?" "No, not us." I joke, trying to make Phil relax a little. "Good, well let's get down to business, take a seat boys." She says, as we all sit round a table. "First of all, congratulations on making your show world wide, and maintaining a large audience, week in, week out. It proves that giving you guys a show, has been a massive pay off, so well done!"

I look at Phil, who can't help but smile at me. "So, now we're coming to the end of the year, we would like to offer you another 12 months contract, but this time with a bigger budget, more competitions and celebrity guests. So, what you think?" "Yes! That sounds great, doesn't it?" Phil says, "Yes, defiantly. We don't have plans, or really want to stop doing the show." "Great, well i will post you two the contract later on and we can meet up some time next month to discuss the plans exactly with our researchers, so have a think of who you would like to appear on the show." "Of course, we will do. Thank you." Phil says, beaming from ear to ear.

"I have to dash now, but keep up the good work and i will talk to you later." "Ok, thank you." We both say at the same time, standing up.

"There, see i told you that we wouldn't be late." I say as we walk out of the building, zipping up our coats, from the sudden hit of chill. "Ok, but you need to stop leaving it to the last minute to get ready Dan, you know that it stresses me out." "Ok, i know. Still, great news about the show. Who do you want to come on?" "It would be great to have some more bands on, we could get everyone to vote on who they want!" "Yes, that's a good idea. So shall we go out for dinner?" "Ok...Chinese?" He suggests, looking round for inspiration. "Sounds good." I say and we start walking over to our usual restaurant, where we go way too often.

When we arrive, we go and sit at our normal table, near the back of the restaurant and make our orders. "So, i thought that as a mini competition we could give away signed CDs from the people who come on our show." Phil says, taking a long gulp from his drink. "Yeah, and get them to do funny stuff, like when we were at the..." But then i stop mid-sentence, because the one person who i have been constantly thinking about, but who i shouldn't be, has just walked in.

Phil looks puzzled at me, but then he looks over my shoulder and he must have seen her because his eyes widen. I look back, nervously, at him, scared about what to do. The year had gone slow, and had been painfully lonely without her. I hadn't spent a single second not beating up myself, for what i did to her.

But here she was, taking me completely by surprise, just walking into the room made all my old feelings come rushing back. She hadn't changed much, still had her long brown hair, sweeping around her shoulders, her little freckles dotted round her nose and her smile. Her gorgeously, bright, warming smile, that always made me feel at home, no matter how bad i felt. Wearing a red dress that i remember her buying with me one day and her little boots that i once stole and tried to put on to make her laugh.

She sits down, not too far away from us, and a man sits down next to her. My heart sinks, but i tell myself that she wouldn't even talk to me. "Do you want to go?" Phil asks worriedly, "No, it's fine. I don't think that she has seen me."

We try to talk about something else, but it's a huge elephant in the room. I feel it burning a hole in my heart, knowing that Emily is in the same room as me is nearly too much for me.

Phil leaves to go to the toilet and i dare look round and see her, looking over at me. No, she wouldn't be looking at me, not after how she left things. But she looks down quickly anyway and i can even see her cheeks turn red.

Something inside me suddenly shouts to me, saying to go over and talk to her. And i almost do, if it wasn't for the fact that the man who she is with has just gotten down on one knee in front of her, and has just pulled out a ring.


	2. Chapter 2

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

"Come on Emily, we're going to be late!" Mark shouts up to me, whilst i try to put my earrings in as quick as i can. I had picked an old red vintage dress, and my even older favourite pair of boots, which were slightly battered and stretched out, but i loved them nevertheless.

"I'm coming honey!" I call back, after managing to finish getting ready for our 'date day'. I walk downstairs, where Mark stands up when i appear and kisses me. "You look amazing babe, i'm so lucky to have you." He whispers in my ear, "I'm just as lucky to have you too." I reply, smiling as he stares at me, something that he did when we first met, which always makes me turn bright red."Well come on then." I say, giggling as he grabs my hand and we leave the house.

I had been dating Mark for just under a year now, he had a job at my new office, we got talking and after a month of him constantly asking me out on a date, i said yes. And as they say, the rest is history.

"I thought that we could go shopping this morning, and maybe grab a spot of lunch after. I made a reservation at this small restaurant, which over looks the river." "Sounds lovely." I say, as we walk into town, which wasn't too far away, since i had moved in with Mark two months ago. He owned a fairly large town house, his family were rich and he took that as an excuse to spoil me with expensive gifts and surprise mini holidays. It wasn't that i didn't like him treating me like a princess, it just made me feel a little worse about myself and what i had achieved in life.

We go into a shopping center and spend a while looking at new shoes for Mark and also a present for his mum's birthday, next week. After we choose her a pair of new earrings, Mark surprises me with a necklace. He helps me put it on, and i stare at the little heart pendant hanging on my neck and wonder how much it is worth.

"Thank you honey, but's really no need. I keep telling you not to keep buying me presents all the time." "I know, but i love you. Is it a crime for me to buy pretty presents for my pretty girlfriend?" "No, but it makes me feel bad." "I'm sorry Emily, i'll try to stop." He grins and leads us out of the shop. We walk along the river side, i watch boats sail slowly pass, filled with people waving and laughing. I remember when i was a little girl and my parents took me to London for the first time. All i ever wanted to was go on a boat tour and when my parents finally let me, i was so scared stiff of drowning, that i cried the whole way round and hide in the toilets.

"Here we are." He says, stopping outside a familiar Chinese restaurant. I follow him in and we sit at a small table. The place is crowded and i try to focus on the menu and Mark telling me something, but all the noise around me distracts me. I let Mark order a whole of dishes he thinks i'll like and soon our table is filled with plates containing various foods.

"Sorry babe, please excuse me." Mark says as the waiter clears our table, after we finish eating. I watch him walk off to the toilets, when i spot him. My heart jumps and my stomach is filled with butterflies. I take a second look to double check, and yes it definitely is him.

Dan Howell is sitting three tables away from me.

I look back down at the table, my mind racing through a million questions. I hadn't seen him for a year, had no contact at all with him and yet here he was. Sitting, eating lunch with Phil, like it was the most normal thing to do. Yes, i had missed him, but whenever i got lonely at night, i only needed to remind myself of how i felt when things ended and i was ok again.

"Are you ok Emily? You look as white as a sheet?" Mark asks, making me jump as he sits back down across from me. "So do you." I point out, noticing his sudden change of colour in his cheeks. "Yes, well...i actually have something to say."

He takes both of my hands and i try to relax, try my hardest to put Dan out of my mind.

But then i sneak a quick glance over, studying his appearance. He hadn't changed much, still had his perfectly straight, jet black hair. He looks up and our eyes meet, i hold his gaze for a second longer than i know that i should. "Emily, are you listening?" I snap back into reality, looking back at Mark. "Sorry, no." I admit and he takes a deep breath.

"Emily, you know how i love you. I always have, right since i saw you at work, so nervous on your first day. And now here we are, nearly one year later and still madly in love. So, Emily." He pauses as he moves out of his seat and kneels next to me. "Will you marry me?"


	3. Chapter 3

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I watch as she throws up her hands in shock, my heart pounding, no racing, to see her answer from across the restaurant. I see the unmistakable nod of her head, as he grins up at her and slides a ring onto her finger. He stands up and takes her in his arms and the room explodes with applause. Everyone stands up around me and i sit, baffled as my view is blocked, and try my hardest not to cry.

"What happened?"Phil asks, sitting back down at the table. "Um, someone proposed." I say, staring uncomfortably at my lap. "Oh right, well should we get going?" "Yes." I stand up, a little too quickly, knocking the table slightly as i do.

We walk towards the door, i don't look around for her, just keep on looking at the floor. "Woops!" I feel myself bump into something, someone. "Sorry!" I say and look up, straight into Emily's eyes. She blushes as she sees me and we both realise that we will have to say something. "Sorry!" We end up saying at once, and then laughing awkwardly. "No, i'm sorry. I wasn't looking where i was going." I say quickly, glancing over as Phil watches us, he looks worried. "Hey Dan." She says coolly, sending shivers down my spine. "Hi Emily." I say, avoiding her glittering eyes. "How are you? It's been so long." "Um, ok, i guess. You?" "Great, thanks. Oh, Dan this is Mark, my boyfriend, well actually now he's my fiance."

Mark steps forward and shakes my hand tightly, smiling at me. "Mark, you know Dan. The person i told you about." "Oh right, yeah i remember." He lets go of my hand and puts it around Emily's waist. "Well congratulations." "Thanks Dan, that's very good of you. How about you call round soon, for dinner one night?" Mark offers, giving me a somewhat smug look, as if to say, 'I win.' I clear my throat, "Well, er, maybe sometime. Guess you'll be busy soon, planning the wedding and all that." I watch Emily's face fall slightly, all the while she keeps looking at me, making me nervous. "So we should do it sooner, rather than later then. What are you doing tomorrow Dan?" Mark presses, "Er, i guess i could do tomorrow." "Great, well Em can give you her number and she can text you the address later on. See you tomorrow then."

Emily fumbles around in her bag and pulls out her phone, i get mine as well and she gives me her number. "Well it was great to see you again Dan, glad you're doing good." She says, as Mark leads her out of the door.

I let out a long deep breath, and Phil walks back over. "Wow that was tense Dan. Are you ok?" "Well, seeing as i have just been invited to my old girlfriend's house, to have dinner with her new fiance. I'm not too good right now." I snap back, regretting my words as soon as i say them. "Sorry Phil, it was just a big shock seeing her again. Especially seeing her with someone else, it hurt." "You don't have to apologize, you coped well. You could always just ring up tomorrow and cancel." "Yeah, i could. It's just...one part of me really wants to go over there and...and win her back. Seeing her again brought up so many old feelings, it made me realise just how much i loved her, how much i needed." "Dan, those feelings are just old ones, like you said. You need to keep moving on, perhaps going tomorrow could give you closure."

We walk outside in silence, just the sound of our footsteps keeping us company.


	4. Chapter 4

I stand outside of the large house, pausing before i reach to knock on the door. I take one last look behind me, at the empty street. Should i just go? Was this really the best idea? But before i can change my mind, i see Emily walk up and open the door, looking nervous. "Hi Dan." She says quietly, smiling a little more. "Hey Emily." I reply, she gives me weird look, i can't quite understand and then steps back to let me in. "Come inside, just follow down the hall till you reach the kitchen." She says behind me and i start walking towards an open door, which i presume is the kitchen.

On the walls of the hallway are dozens of photos, mostly of Emily and Mark together. At the beach, in a park, in a car, on a aeroplane and even standing by the Eiffel tower. I walk into the large, clean white kitchen and see Mark standing by the french doors, at the other end of the room. "Mark, Dan's here." I hear Emily call to him, as she walks past me and grabs three glasses out of one of the cupboards. Mark turns round, grinning and walks over to shake my hand. "Dan, so glad you could make it." He says loudly and confidently. "I brought you some wine." I hold out the most expensive bottle i could find from home and watch as his eyes scan over the label.

I suddenly feel a little under dressed and a bit cheap as i check out Mark's designer shirt and a very expensive looking watch he wears. "There was no need Dan." He says, taking the bottle off me and putting it on the table behind him, making me think that he will chuck it away as soon as i leave. "But thank you." Emily adds, joining us by the table, Mark putting his arm round her shoulders. As he does i notice just skinny she looks, a little to bony at her neck, her legs paper thin, her fingers long and fragile looking and her cheeks had less colour in them, than they usually did.

"Shall we go outside for a drink?" He asks, already grabbing the glasses and walking back towards the doors. "Sounds good i say." I following them out, into an equally large garden, where we sit at a table on the grass. I watch as Mark opens a bottle of his wine and pours it into our glasses. He lifts his up and me and Emily copy. "A toast, to long, lost friends and new beginnings!" He says, we all tap glasses and take a sip.

"So Dan, Emily tells me that you have your own radio show?" "Yes, i share it with my friend, who i also live with." "That's impressive, how long have you been doing it?" "About a year and a half, we both really enjoy it. If we didn't have it, then i probably would have gone back to uni, in Manchester." "Gone back?" He asks, making me comfortable, like he is trying to find out how much better a person he is than me. "Yes, i didn't finish my course. I left because it wasn't really for me and all the exams got too much. So i took a year out, but then we got offered the show so i didn't go back." "Oh right." I watch a flicker of smugness across his face. "Are you still doing YouTube?" Emily asks, her voice caring and soft, not prying like her fiance's. "Yes, of course. I still love making videos, i think i always will." "Dan has over 2 million subscribers." She tells Mark, making me feel a bit better. "Oh, good for you." He says, looking bored.

Mark then goes on to talk about his family's company and how he will take over once his father retires. I lose interest as he starts talking about the business ideas he has and just find myself staring at my glass of wine, wondering how soon i will be able to leave, without appearing rude.

I come to the conclusion that i should go, just after another hour of him droning on. "Sorry, but i think i be making tracks. Don't want to miss my last tube." I say, thinking about the long train ride back home. "Ok then, you must pop round soon though. It was great to meet you Dan." I follow Mark back through the kitchen and down the hallway. "Bye Em." I say, waving awkwardly at her. She smiles back and i open the door and step out.

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I watch as the door closes behind him and sigh as Mark walks past me, probably going back to his office for the rest of the day. I go back into the garden and sit back down, the last of the afternoon's sun gracing the grass. I look at the chair Dan sat in, my heart still beating from when he called me Em. His old nickname for me, something i hadn't heard him say for way too long. I fiddle with my hair, replaying his visit, over and over in my head.

I should have hugged him goodbye, should have made him feel more at home. Though deep down, i knew that letting him back into my life was the totally wrong thing to do, hadn't i just spent the last year trying to get over him? Though it was so good to see him again, i didn't realise just how much i had missed him till i saw him again. That slightly crooked smile, his intriguing eyes, the perfect straight black hair and his familiar, friendly, happy voice.

In the distance i hear Mark calling me, i savour one last moment of the sun and peace, before getting up and seeing what he wants.


	5. Chapter 5

I stand by the sink, washing the plates after dinner, letting my hands disappear under the bubbles. I lose my train of thought and just find myself staring out of the window, past the hedges in the garden and into the far off distance. "Emily" I jump, water splashing up on my t-shirt. "Sorry honey, didn't mean to frighten you." I feel Mark's hand on my shoulder and his lips kiss my cheek. "Oh that's ok." I say, turning my head to look at him.

He passes me a towel to dry my hands on, "So that was the famous Dan." "Famous?" "2 million subscribers honey, i would call that famous. So tell me, how exactly did you two break up? You never told me." He pulls up a chair, by the breakfast bar and i sit next to him, folding up the towel.

"I caught him cheating on me, at a party." He raises his eyebrows, waiting for more information. I clear my throat, it had been a long time since i had talked about it.

"He had been seeing this girl, for a few months and i walked in on them kissing at a party. I ran out and left him. Though...though i came back to get my stuff from his flat, i found a plane ticket to America. That for me, was when i knew that it was really over. No doubt in my mind." I say, getting teary eyed. "Oh baby, that was so cruel." He comforts me, rubbing my arm. "Even though i was tough on myself, it took me a few months to get over him, and properly move on." "When did you stop loving him?" "Erm, i think it was when one day i saw a picture of him, just on the internet and i didn't feel anything. Nothing."

"And when did you start loving him again?" I stare, shocked at Mark, my mouth hangs open and my heart accelerates. "What?" I say, completely taken aback. "It only took having him over for an hour or so, to see the way you look at him. You love him and telling me anything else would be a lie." "What? I don't love him!" "Really, because it looked different to me! Don't lie to me!" he stands up suddenly, towering above me. I hold up my hands in defense. "I swear to you Mark, i don't love him anymore! I did, but that was before i met you! I promise you Mark, i love you and only you!" I say, standing up, looking him in the eyes. I watch as he slowly calms down, his shoulders relax and he takes a deep breath out. "I'm sorry baby, i don't know what came over me. Of course you don't love him. I guess i just got a tad worried, you know, seeing as you have history." I nod, encouraging him to stay calm.

He opens his arms and i rest my head on his chest, whilst he wraps his arms around me, stroking my hair. "I love you Emily, more than anything else in this world." "I love you too." I reply, closing my eyes and listening as my heart beat gets slower and slower.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

"How was it?" Phil asks, as i walk into the living room, finding him watching TV on the sofa. "Very awkward." I reply, sitting down next to him, "Their house is enormous, i felt out of place being there. Like there was a massive elephant in the room the whole time." "Oh, are you ok with seeing her again?" "You can say her name Phil, i'm going to start crying every time she is brought up. But yeah it was hard seeing her, seeing how happy she is with him, just hit home. Mostly regret, wishing that it was me, who she is with. And there was something...something not quite right about her, but i can't place what it is."

He looks over at me and i can very clearly see the pity in his eyes, "You'll meet someone Dan, i know you will." "That's the thing though, i don't want anyone else. I want...i want her."

**THE NEXT DAY**

"Hello internet!" I say, waving at my laptop screen, watching as dozens of comments come rushing in. "So, how are you all?" I ask, shuffling around on my bed, trying to get comfy, settling in for my weekly live show. I read out a few comments, laughing along, wondering what next to talk about. "How about a ask Dan? You lot can send in your questions and i will try my hardest to answer as many as i can. Ok...ready go!"

I chuckle as the screen fills with questions, racing up before i can ready any, "Ok, Rebecca asks, how long have you known Phil? I have known Phil for about four years now. Next one, James asks which of my videos is my favourite. Oh, interesting question, i'm going to go with my draw my life, because it was so much fun to do and to remember everything. Izzy asks who is my favourite female youtuber, that would be either Emma Blackery or Louise, better known as sprinkleofglitter, so go check those guys out! Ok, one more i think," I scan the comments, trying to pick an interesting one. Then the section freezes, leaving one in the middle, boring into my eyes. I swallow back a lump in my throat, no i couldn't answer that one. But the section is still frozen and i have been silent for a good ten seconds...

**Hey everyone,**

**Sorry this chapter took me a bit longer to upload, i have been ill recently and haven't much motivation to write, even though i am enjoying this story so far. Please let me know what you think about the style i have been writing this in, switching backwards and forwards between characters and your general thoughts on the story so far.**

**I would also like to give a quick shout out to Lucy (missionlionheart), who also has a fantastic story on this website, but i know that she hasn't been feeling so good lately, so i hope you feel better soon because we all miss you and your story!**

**That's all for now, so i'll talk to you guys later. **

**Happy reading,**

**Lucyxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I ran down the stairs, following the sound of my phone continually beeping. I pick it up and my mouth drops open at 15 new messages, 40 tweets and 89 Facebook notifications! "God." I say under my breath as i try to get through the messages, logging onto Facebook. At first i am confused at what is happening, i have a ton of posts on my wall but none of them really make any sense, just a load of shocked faces and friends telling me to call them if i need a chat.

I get another text, from Zoe and read it,

_are you ok? heard about the live show, text me if you wantxxxx_

But still i am puzzled, so i call her instead, sitting down on the sofa, getting quite worried. "Hey Emily." She answers, not quite her normal cheery self. "Hey Zoe, this may sound strange, but you could explain what exactly is going on. I have no idea what all these messages are about." "Oh right, really? Well basically earlier tonight Dan was doing a live show and he got asked a question about you, whether or not he still loved you and he broke down, started crying and had to end the show."

I sit in silence for a moment, letting the story sink in, "Woah, i had no idea. God, i hope he's ok. Maybe i should call him, or go round." "I'm not sure whether that's the best idea Emily, i mean i know you guys have got back in touch but i think that it would be for the best if you gave him plenty of space." "Yeah you're right, i'll leave him for now, i'm sure he's alright. Anyway, i'd better go, i think i can hear Mark calling me." "Ok, well text me if you do talk to him. See you soon, love you." "Love you too." I say, yawning as i hang up and walk back up to bed, snuggling down under the covers with Mark.

**THE NEXT DAY**

I jump out of the taxi, struggling to stand up straight and not fall over, as i check my watch to confirm my lateness. I jog as quick as i can down the street, wobbling in my heels and aware of the strange looks i am getting. I finally see the shop when my phone beeps. I go to check it, when someone walks into me, knocking me over.

I sit on the floor in shock for a second, trying to gather my thoughts and work out what has happened. "Oh God, i'm so sorry!" I hear someone say. I am aware of someone lowering their hand down to help me up, which i take and readjust my skirt as i stand back up. "Oh god Emily, i am so sorry." My ears prick as i hear my name, for the first time i look at the person who bumped into to me and to my shock i see that it is Dan.

"Oh Dan, i didn't realise that it was you." I say, relaxing as he picks up my bag for me. "Well like i said, i am sorry about that. Are you hurt?" "No, don't think so." I say, looking down at my body for any sign of an injury. "Oh wait, there's a cut on your leg." He points out, looking guilty. "Oh it's only small, i think i'll live." "You should get it cleaned. Come on, i'm taking you back to mine. I can make up for knocking you over by helping you out, it's the least i could do." "There's really no need." "No, come on, i'm not taking no for a answer."

I give Dan a look, he was right. I knew him well enough to know just how stubborn he could be, so i cave in and let him take me back to his flat.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I felt so bad and embarrassed about knocking Emily over, inside i was kicking myself for always being so clumsy. "Here we go." I say, letting us into mine and Phil's flat, somewhere she hadn't been for about a year. "I think we have some plasters in the bathroom, so you just sit down in the living room and i'll be right back." I order her, helping her up the stairs.

I leave her sitting on the sofa, as i walk to the bathroom to gather plasters and a cold flannel to clean her cut with. "Whose that?" I hear Phil from behind me. "That is Emily, i bumped into her in town and she fell over, so i brought her back to clean her cut." "Oh right, can i go say hi?" "Of course Phil, please don't treat me like a child. I'm fine." He smiles as he rushes down the hallway and i hear him greet Emily in the other room.

I walk back in to find them catching up on the sofa, both beaming away. "The doctor is here!" I say, kneeling down her leg. "I thought he came in a blue box." Phil jokes, "Not this one." I say, dabbing softly at Emily's red cut. She winces slightly as i do so, but once i finish i feel her relax back into the sofa. I stick the plaster on and stand back up, admiring my work. "And he saves the day again!" Emily says, "What could i ever do to repay you Doctor?" "How about you stay for a cup of tea?" I offer, watching as she thinks. "Ok, i think that i can do that." "Great, i'll go and switch the kettle on."

I bound off to the kitchen and Phil follows behind, "I'm heading off now Dan, i'm meeting Chris for lunch." "Ok, say hi to him for me." "Will do." I hear him say goodbye to Emily and the front door close, now it was just me and her.

I walk back in, handing her, her old mug she used to drink out of. "Aw, you remembered how i like my tea and even put it in my favourite mug." I just grin and sit down next to her. "Listen Dan, there's something i think we need to talk about." I look worriedly at her, did she know about last night? "Zoe told me about your live show, and i was wondering are you ok?" "Yes, of course i am." I say quickly, tense. "She said that someone asked you about me and that you started crying, which you would never do in front of camera, so i was very concerned. I mean it was out of order to ask you if you still had feelings for me, and i guess when you said no, it just hurt." She pauses, looking at me, like i was about to cry again. But only one thought is in my head, she thought i said no.

"Oh shit!" She suddenly says, making me jump. "What is it?" "I am very, very late." She says, getting up and putting her coat on. "What for?" "I was supposed to be at a dress fitting appointment an hour ago! It completely slipped my mind, once i had fallen over!" "Oh god, a wedding dress fitting?" "Yes! Oh god, i am so stupid sometimes." I watch as she dashes around the room, putting her shoes and picking up her bag. "Aren't you meeting anyone to go with you?" "No, no one could come." She says, clearly sad. "Oh, you can't try a wedding dress on, by yourself." I point out, "No, but i'm going to have to." "I could...i could come too." I regret saying it as soon as i do and i watch as she blushes, clearly finding my comment funny and stupid.

"Oh that's ok Dan, but thank you for offering. Look, i'd better get going. Sorry to just dash off like this, and thank you for looking after me." Before i can even try to say anything else, she is gone and i feel just as bad as i did last night. When i lost control over one silly question, which made me realise my feelings for Emily, were very much still alive.


	7. Chapter 7

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I get back home at around seven, sighing with relief as i get into the warm of the hall way. "Hello? Mark, i'm home." I call out, walking down to the kitchen. "Mark?" I walk over to his office, and knock on his door. "Mark, honey? Are you in there?" After a few more seconds of silence, i realise that he is out and my mood sinks as i get ready spend yet another evening by myself.

I can't be bothered to cook tonight, so i order a pizza, put on a film and cuddle up under a blanket on the sofa, hugging a cushion to my tummy. My mind wonders off halfway through the film, back this morning at Dan's. I felt as though i shouldn't have brought up the live show, but if we were going to be friends then we couldn't leave any secrets or unsaid things. Of course i thought about us, how happy we were together, but things have changed and now i am with Mark and we are getting married, which is great of course, but some how i wasn't as happy i had thought i would be.

Just as i am thinking about calling Dan and asking if i could go round, the door bell goes and i get up and collect my pizza, which i just chuck away ten minutes later, no longer hungry. I fall asleep later on, with the film still playing to it's tired out audience.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I finish making tea, sitting down in front of the sofa and digging in to my pasta. I am halfway through when Phil comes home, "Hey Dan, Emily gone?" "Yep, went a while ago." He sits down next to me, and puts the volume down on the TV. "It was weird seeing her again." "Was it?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "Yeah, it's been so long since she was here and something wasn't quite right." "Yeah, i know what you mean." "She was too skinny, too pale. Like she was only half alive." "Yeah, you're right. Maybe i should ask her if she is ok?" "No, i'm not sure that's the best thing to do. You've only just got back in touch with her, don't make her feel uncomfortable Dan, i'm sure she's ok. She is a grown women after all, i'm sure she can take care of herself."

"Yeah... she asked me about last night." This time it's Phil's turn to raise his eyebrows, "Really? What did you say?" "I said i was ok, but she kind of assumed that i said that i didn't love her anymore." "And do you?"

I pause, closing my eyes as i get ready to admit the worst. I nod, still in dark as i don't want to see Phil's reaction. We sit in silence, i slowly my eyes and watch as Phil returns from a ghostly white to a red anger. "Dan! She's getting married! How can you say that?" "I'm sorry but i can hardly decide who i fall in love with! I tired Phil, i tired so hard to get her out of my head, but seeing her again, it just brought it all rushing back to me. But don't worry, i'm not going to do anything about it, i'm not going to ruin the wedding and burst in to the church shouting. You know i won't do that to her."

He calms down, but avoids my eye contact and i know that i have over stepped the mark. At least she doesn't the truth, i think to myself, and she never can.


	8. Chapter 8

A week had now passed since i had seen Emily, when i took her back to mine and Phil's flat after i knocked into her. I had thought about calling her up and asking her if she wanted to hang out, but then i would talk myself out of it and do something else instead.

It was a Sunday morning, and me and Phil were working on our radio show for later that day, when the door bell rang. "I'll get it." I said, leaving Phil in the living room, typing away on the laptop. I open the front door, and to my surprise i see Emily, red circles under her eyes, her hair scuffed up, no make up on, her coat half falling off. Yet straight away as i look at her, i am knocked breathless at her beauty, the surprise of seeing her so suddenly.

"Dan." She says panting, and without another word she leans forwards and i instinctively wrap my arms round her, feeling take aback to be holding her again, after so long. We just stand in the doorway for a few moments, neither of us wanting to break the peace and comfort of the moment, but after a short while Phil shouts down for me. "Dan? Who was it?" We both look up, towards the stairs, the direction of his voice. I open my mouth to reply, but Emily moves backwards and shakes her head. I nod back to her, and then she grabs my hand and pulls me out of the door, so we stand in the hallway.

"What is it?" I ask, racing my mind through possible explanations for her odd behavior. "Dan...i don't think i can do it." "Do what?" I ask, trying to get a clue as i look at her troubled eyes. "I can't marry him."

My mouth drops open and i watch as she bursts into tears, leaning against the wall for support. I wrap my arms round her, and hold her up. Trying to soothe her, by stroking her hair. "Come on, come inside." I lead her back into the flat and take her through to my room, shutting the door behind me and hoping that Phil will leave us alone, whilst i sort everything out.

I sit her on my bed and pass her a box of tissues, eventually she stops sniffling and the tears stop streaming down her face. "I think you should me everything Em, right from the start." I say, sitting down next to her, taking one of her hands. She nods, "Ok, well i had been feeling a bit lonely for a while now, Mark is always out at work and i'm on my own at home for most nights. But it was today, we were meeting with our wedding planner, she was telling us about the church we wanted, how it was closing down soon and it would have to be next month or never and i thought in my head, never."

She starts crying again and rests her head on my shoulder, i feel her tears soak through my t-shirt, but i don't care at all. All i am thinking about is, the fact that the wedding might be cancelled. She sits back again, "Mark told her that we would take the last booking, for next month, and then i freaked out and ran out of the building and came here." "So, you're calling off the wedding?" I ask cautiously, "Yes...no...oh i don't know. I don't anything right now, it's all one big mess." "No, of course it's not Em. I'll help you sort things out, i promise you that everything will be ok."

Just as she calms down slightly, her phone starts ringing and she almost faints when she sees that it is Mark, "Shall i answer it?" I offer and she nods, passing her phone.

I walk out of the room, not entirely sure what i am going to say, but for the first time in over a year i am hopeful. Hopeful that i now have a chance again with the only person on this world i love. Hopeful that we will be together again. But, as i am about to answer the call and give Mark a piece of my mind, i realise something.

Mark actually hasn't done anything wrong. How is her going to feel when he hears that Emily is cancelling the wedding? Probably just as bad as i did when Em left me. Do i actually want someone else to feel as bad as i did? What am i actually about to do here? Ruining somebody's life, just because of my own stupid feelings.

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I sit on Dan's bed, looking around me at the familiar room. I pull my knees up to my chest, feeling like someone has shot a massive hole through my body. I close my eyes, listening to the utter silence and wondering what Dan is saying to Mark. How did i manage to get myself into such a huge mess? This morning everything was perfect, i woke up in my beautiful house, with my handsome fiance, who loves me, and here i am, having chucked everything i have ever wanted away.

I try to repress the dark, black feelings i get when i think about it and open my eyes and stare at the door instead. I jump, as Dan enters back in to the room, and passes my phone back. "What happened?" I ask, shaking with fear and nerves. "I explained everything to him, how you just got a little overwhelmed with the wedding planning and needed some fresh air. I said that you feel very sorry and worried about hurting his feelings and that the wedding is still going ahead." I stare shocked at him, again he has managed to outdo himself, how could someone be so amazing?

"What did he say?" "He was very relived that you were ok and thankful that the wedding is still on. He's also waiting for you at home and he say that you can talk everything out and it will all be ok." I feel relief wash over me, and i stand up and hug Dan. "Thank you so much." I whisper, "I mean it, you really are incredible, you know that don't you?" He grins and nods. "I'm just glad that i could help out, let me know how things work out, i hope it's ok."

I walk home, from Dan's flat, feeling a little lightheaded and another weird feeling that i can't exactly place. Something between happiness and regret.


	9. Chapter 9

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I stand in front of my mirror, frowning as i try to fix my tie, feeling somewhat uncomfortable about wearing my best suit. "Are you nearly ready Dan?" I hear Phil call to me from the living room, no doubt stressing out about the time and how late i am making us. "Nearly." I call back, sighing and giving up as i leave my tie hanging to one side, lose around my neck.

I stomp out to the living room, Phil waiting by the door, looking at his watch. "A new record Dan, half an hour late!" He jokes, chucking my shoes at me. "Sorry, you know that i'm not looking forward to going tonight Phil, i've told you that before." "I know, but Emily kept asking and i had to yes. We can just go for ten minutes and make an excuse to leave if it's really bad." "Ok, but don't blame me if we both have a horrid time, standing around in some huge house with a load of posh, snooty people who are complete strangers." "Well when you put it like that, i can't wait to go!"

There's a moment of silence, as i finish putting my shoes on, and stand up straight, "I'm really proud of what you did Dan, there's not many people who would have done that." I nod, not wanting to talk about the incident the other week. Phil senses my cold exterior and opens the front door, gesturing for me to leave first.

We arrive at the large hall, in the center of London, at around half nine and already there are dozens of people standing around, all dressed in smart, expensive looking suits and dresses. I feel out of place as soon as i step out of the taxi, feeling everyone's glaze on me, as we walk inside, marveling at the posh decor.

We stand aimlessly, for a few seconds, Phil looks back over his shoulder and for a moment i think that he is about to run out of the door, but then i spot Emily walking up to us, grinning and waving, wearing a breathtaking dress, that sends shudders down my spine. "Hi guys, so glad you make it, didn't think you were coming in the end." She embraces me, then Phil and we stand back to fully admire her outfit, a long slim, flowing gold dress that hugs her slim figure and makes her bony shoulders, look even more thin and pale. Her hair sweeps on her shoulders, bouncing as she nods her head to the music and her eyes light up like never before.

"You look..." I struggle for words, aware of my mouth hanging open, "You look stunning Emily." Phil steps in, and i give him a nod of thanks. "Thank you." She says, looking down at her dress, "And i must say that you two scrub up well, look at you in your suits." She pulls gently on my jacket, beaming from ear to ear. "Well, we did dress for the occasion, this is probably the most fanciest party i've ever been to." "Really? Great, it was going to be a little get together, for our families but things spiraled out of control and here we are, two weeks before the wedding in the largest, most posh building i've ever danced in!"

Even she is joking and laughing, something about the way she speaks makes me feel sad, like she is trapped in the run up to the wedding, caught in a fast moving, never stopping whirl wind.

"So, where's Mark?" I ask, looking over her shoulder for him. "Oh, i'm not too sure. He disappeared when his family arrived." She pauses and moves in closer, so that no one else can over hear, "I don't actually think that his family like me." Her eyes drop and my heart sinks for her, just wanting to kiss her and make her feel better. "Oh, i'm sure that they do. How could anyone not like you?" Phil says, once again saving the conversation. She shakes her head, and i can just spot her eyes water slightly, "Come on." I say, holding out my hand, "I think that we should get some air." I say, she doesn't say anything but follows behind me and Phil, as we make our way back through the crowds of people, chatting and drinking.

"Where are we going?" She asks, as we step outside, suddenly realizing that it is far too cold to be standing around. "Shall we get a coffee?" She asks, taking me by surprise, "But it's your party Emily, we can't just leave and get a coffee." "Exactly, it's my party and i say that we should go find a cafe that's open. Juts the three of us though, don't want any boring old snobs joining us." I give Phil a look, who looks just as surprised as i do, but he shrugs his shoulder and grins as Emily tugs on my hand and we walk off to find a cafe.


	10. Chapter 10

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

"There is no way that could happen! No way, you two are lying to me!" I yell, half laughing and half eating a slice of cake. "It's true! Honestly, Emily, all the lights just blew out, like before when you were over." I look at Phil for confirmation, still unsure whether Dan is telling me one of his fantastic lies or just another great story, where everything goes wrong. "Really Emily, he's actually telling the truth this time. I was there." "What do you mean, this time? I always tell the truth!" Dan argues, raising both of his hands, innocently. "Phil does have a point, in all fairness." I say, taking a long gulp of my coffee, "I'm sorry Dan but this time i just can't believe you."

His face falls, but then his cheeky schoolboy smile, soon returns as he finishes his coffee, placing it back down on the table victoriously. "Do you want another one Dan?" Phil asks, Dan looks over at me, seeing if we are staying for another drink. "Actually, you two can stay but i think that i should go back now. Seeing as it is my party and i only showed up for ten minutes." I point out, standing up, still wearing my dress in the small Starbucks we found, five minutes away from the party. "Ok, we'll walk you back." They both get up, putting back on their suit jackets, and i laugh as i straighten up Dan's lopsided tie. "Oh thanks." He chuckles, standing still whilst i pretend to dust off his shoulders.

"We must have looked so odd in there, the three of us, all wearing smart clothes, drinking coffee in a random Starbucks at half ten, on a Saturday." Dan says, as we walk out and the cold hits me straight away. Taking away my breath. "Are you cold?" Phil asks, as i shudder and wrap my arms round my chest. "Just a bit." I joke, smiling through the bitter pain. "Here." Dan says, stopping as he whisks off his jacket and places it over my shoulders. "Thanks." I say, relaxing as my arms heat up slightly.

We walk back to the party, but i don't want to go back at all. All i want is to go back to Starbucks, or my house, or Dan and Phil's flat, and just hang out with them. Laughing and joking together, knowing that i don't have to put on a brave face, or try to act different with them. One of my old friends once told me, that one day you find someone, someone who you just click with, as soon as you get talking to them you're at ease and you feel... you feel right. And that bond, stays with you, no matter how long you are apart or what happens. I didn't actually understand her, when she told me that, i didn't believe in just 'clicking', i thought that there was much more to it, but i was wrong. I was so wrong.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

"Here we go then." I say, as we reach the party, and again i am washed over with the feeling of not belonging. But this time, it's not so bad, Emily looks up at me and gives me a half smile. "Thanks for the coffee guys, we should meet up again soon, though maybe next time in different clothing." "Yeah, defiantly." Phil says, hugging her goodbye. "Enjoy your party, hope you don't get asked where you disappeared to." I say. "Ha, hope not. See you then." She says, as she turns to walk up the stairs, to the door, she suddenly spins back round again. "Oops! Almost forgot!" She says, running over and passing me my jacket back. "Thanks for letting me borrow it." "That's ok, see you soon." And she goes, but this time she walks through the door and doesn't come rushing back, like i wish, with all my heart, that she would.

"That was an interesting evening." Phil comments, as we let ourselves back into our flat. "Yeah, didn't expect her to want to just leave like that. It was a bit odd, wasn't it." "Yeah, i guess so." Phil gets out his laptop and logs on to check twitter since we had been gone, i take off my jacket, chuck it on the sofa and fiddle with my tie to loosen it.

"Do you want to watch something on TV?" I ask, picking up the remote and switching it on. "Dan." Phil says, with a sense of worry in his tone. "Or we could put on a film." I continue. "Dan." "Or find a box set on the internet." "Dan." "Or just search the internet." "Dan!" I look up, Phil still engrossed in his screen.

"What is it?" I ask, slightly annoyed. "Dan, look at this." I walk over and it takes a minute or two for me to fully process what he is showing me. It is a blurry, bad quality photo, of two people. As my eyes adjust i soon realise that it is a photo, that someone has taken, of me and Emily. It is when i was giving her my jacket, but with the lighting and the angle of the photo, it looks very much like we are kissing.

I stare at the screen, until my eyes start to start to water, which i blame on the light, and then it really sinks in. "Phil...where did you find this photo?" I ask, as calmly as i can. He pauses, trying to deliver the blow as softly as he can. "Phil?" I repeat, "Twitter, it was trending, well it still is." I click off the photo and see that #danandemilykissing is indeed trending worldwide and it takes all i can not to smash up the laptop.


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- PLEASE READ**

**This chapter contains some serious adult material, which i wasn't too sure about including in the story but i decided that it would really add to the characters and that it would be worthwhile. If you are younger than 13, or don't want to read the 'bad' part, then i will leave a line to show where it starts and i have also written the chapter so you don't have to have read all of it, to understand the storyline. If anyone has any comments or questions, then PLEASE feel free to send me a message as i am a bit worried about how this will go go down! **

**Also, i REALLY don't wish to offend anyone if any of the following has ever happened to you, or someone you know, and if i do upset you then i am very sorry! And please also bear in mind that this is FICTION, and even though it includes Dan, none of this is remotely real.**

**So, before i bore you all, i'll finish and enjoy!**

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

"I'm sorry Mark, i really, really am. I didn't think that you would take it so badly, if i did then i would have stayed." I shout after Mark, running down the front steps, out back into the street. "It's not good enough Emily, saying sorry isn't going to suddenly make everything better." "I know, i...i just want you to forgive me." He stops walking, and i grab my chance, "Mark, honey. I love you so much, more than anything in this world and i would do anything to make it up to you." "Anything?" He asks, turning around, a small smirk appearing on his face. "Anything." I repeat, walking towards him. "Well then, i can think of something. Shall we go home?" He holds out his arm and i loop mine through it, as we walk to the waiting car and we get inside.

It's a quiet journey back to the house, i lean on his shoulder, my eyes closing as tiredness takes over. Once we get back home, Mark pops to his office quickly to check on a few things and i check my phone, having left it at home. Once again, i am greeted with enormous amounts of messages and notifications, but this time twice as many as before and i know this must be serious.

I find the photo that started it all straight away, the most trending hash-tag on twitter, #danandemilykissing, makes me feel dizzy with fear and nerves. I fall backwards onto the sofa, the room spinning beneath my feet as i try to get a grasp on what has happened. I force myself to take another look at the dreaded photo, the way me and and Dan are clearly kissing, yet in real life nothing like that happened at all.

Then it hits me, Mark.

I jump up and rush down the hallway, the sound of my shoes on the tiled floor, echoing around me. I barge into his office and to my horror, the photo is on his computer screen and he is sitting, staring at it. I pause, wondering what on earth i should do. Maybe even just run away, leave him alone.

"Mark?" I say gently, moving forwards a little, but he remains motionless. "Mark, please listen to me. I can explain this, there is a explanation to this. Please hear me out." I pause again, waiting for a reply but nothing happens, so i continue. "It looks like we were kissing, but i swear to you, Mark i swear on my life, that we didn't. It's just the bad camera angle and the dark lighting."

I wait in utter silence, not wanting to over talk and to let him calm down. But eventually i can't wait any longer and i move to face him, but he is expressionless. "Mark...please say something." He closes his eyes, and breathes out heavily and for a moment i think that it will be ok. I think that he will open his eyes and hug me and tell me that he forgives me and that he doesn't believe the photo.

But that doesn't happen, something else does.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

He jumps up, and leaps forward, grabbing my arms and moving back with such a brute force that he pins me up against the wall. "It's one thing to walk off from your own party without telling me, but it's another to cheat on me!" He screams, throwing his hand across my face and slapping me harder than i have ever been hit. I feel the burn of the impact, but none of that seems to matter as i watch as he gets madder and madder.

"I knew that he was bad news! I knew that you two weren't finished! I knew it!" Tears rush down my face, like never before. He punches me in the stomach, and kicks my legs. He keeps firm grasp of my wrists, as he hits me, giving me nowhere to hide and run away and no means of escape. "How dare you cheat on me! After all i have done for you! I cared for you, loved you, pampered you, treated you like a queen. And this is what i get in return! You make me sick!" He hammers down my ears, hitting me harder with each word. Destroying me.

After what seems like a lifetime of hell, he lets go of my arms, but i fall to the floor in weakness. He kicks me one last time and on his way out he turns and spits on me, storming out of the room, leaving me torn apart and feeling as though i will die.


	12. Chapter 12

I lie still on the cold, hard floor, not scared of moving a muscle. I listen to my breathing and stare at a spot on the opposite wall, trying to keep myself from losing control and freaking completely out. I soon realise that i have reached a cross roads in my life, whatever i do now will affect the rest of my life and it takes all the power that i have to think things as thoroughly through, as i can.

The way that i see it is, that i can either get up now, run out of the house and go to Dan's flat and explain everything to him and never have to deal with Mark again. Or i stay here, swallowed up in the utter mess of my life and leave Dan out of it, out of the trouble and pain. As the seconds tick on by, i gather that i have picked the second option subconsciously and i lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, not wanting to live my hell a second longer.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

I sigh and keep on the remote control, trying to find something good to watch on TV, partly to take my mind off what was happening and as a break from over thinking and analyzing everything , like i had been doing for the past two weeks. Two weeks since she had called, since i'd had any form of contact from her and it was eating me up inside. I tried time after time to find out what had happened, gone to her house, left numerous texts, facebook messages but this morning Phil had finally managed to persuade me to leave her alone and let it go. It felt like holding a balloon on a windy day, looking up at the sky and then realising that you have let go and the balloon is now floating away, until it's out of sight and gone forever.

Today was a particularly bad day, because i had heard someone say that tomorrow was the day of the wedding and that would then my last chance of getting her back, of ever being happy again gone. Like snuffing out a candle in a pitch dark room.

Phil had gone out for the evening, meeting up with some old uni friends. He had offered that i could come with him, but i knew that he was only being polite and that i would only make the evening awkward. So i had made some tea, sat in front of the TV and tired to find escape from everything else.

And it was working, until the doorbell rang and turned my life upside down, yet again.

I jog down the stairs, expecting Phil to be back, probably having forgotten his wallet or something, but i find Emily, looking calm and collective. "Oh, hi." I say, struggling to speak as she catches me off guard again. "Hi." She says, and then she steps forward, puts her hands on my neck and presses her lips up to mine, in one single movement of grace and love.

The kiss is a different experience all together, filling up the hole in my chest with warmth and the feeling of being at home. Like the balloon is drifting back down to me, the string back within my outstretched fingers and the candle re-lit.

Her lips feel right, back against mine after so long and having felt so lonely without her light in my life. It feels like if the moon was to fall out of the sky, i wouldn't notice because of her radiance.

"Dan." She says, stepping back, her eyes like a portal to another world, one where i longed to go. I step back to let her inside and i follow her up to the living room, where she starts pacing up and down the room, clearly getting herself more, and more stressed out. "So." I say, hoping to trigger an explanation from her.

She pulls back slowly, breaking the spell i had been casting for so long but with no luck...until now. "Dan." She says, softly and i see tears appearing at her eyes, and then i pull her in to my arms, protecting her from whatever is scaring her. She steps back, her eyes like a portal to another world, one where i longed to go.

I step back to let her inside and i follow her up to the living room, where she starts pacing up and down the room, clearly getting herself more, and more stressed out. "So." I say, hoping to trigger an explanation from her.

She stops walking and stands to look at me, an expression of hopelessness on her face. "I can't...i can't." She says, shaking her head slowly, "I can't do it Dan." She pauses again, but in my mind i know that she doesn't need to talk anymore, i know that she can't marry him and somewhere back in the depths of my mind i am overfilled with joy and hope of a newly found future with her.

I take a step towards her, just wanting to hold her and reassure her that she is making the right choice and that i am here to support her, but as i do she steps back and continues to shake her head, avoiding my eye contact. "I can't be near you Dan, we both know that. That kiss...that was a mistake, already i see that. I'm sorry, i can't see you anymore, not with the wedding tomorrow, it's all wrong." Her words come tumbling out, each one hitting me hard like ice and leaving me breathless in pain and fear. "We're moving after the wedding, Mark's been transferred and we've found a house already so this is it Dan. I just...i hope...i hope you can understand."

She moves to me, placing her hand on the side of my face, but i can barely feel it. "This is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life Dan, it pains me so much to say goodbye." "So don't." I say, snapping back into life, putting my hand on top of hers, "Don't go Emily, that kiss, that kiss was real. It was amazing, it was the best kiss i've ever had and you know it. Don't pretend that your feelings are gone Emily, who are you trying to convince?" "Dan, the wedding is tomorrow, i swear in another world, a different lifetime, we would be together, we could make things work. But we didn't we broke up and you need to let go." Her eyes stare into mine this time, leaving me feeling light headed with anger and confusion.

She doesn't say anything else, just looks down at her feet, but as she turns to leave, she pulls out an envelope from her bag and puts it on the table, "Dan, i only want you to open this if i tell you to. Do you promise?" I nod, of course i do, not caring about anything anymore, it slips my mind as i watch as she walks out of the room and i listen as the door closes and i am left in darkness.


	13. Chapter 13

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I lie in bed, completely unsure of what happened last night and mostly shocked that i had the courage to go through with it. Though to be fair, i haven't felt like myself at all, not since the incident. I felt as though i was robot, only managing to do everyday tasks, it was like living in a black and white world.

Mark calmed soon enough, he only had to beg me for forgiveness once and i said that i would take him back. Of course i said yes, how else was i going to cope in life, with nowhere to live and the fact that the wedding was soon approaching and i couldn't bring myself to tell my family, so i had kept that night a secret. A mistake that was now brushed under the carpet and soon to be forgotten.

Though, as a comprise to myself and something to hold on to, i had written Dan a letter, explaining everything that i had felt since we broke up and i had even written about the night Mark went mad. I had planned, as a emergency, that i would text him and tell him to open it if something happened today. I had put a place to meet me, if the worse was to happen, however i was sure that i wouldn't be needing to get him to read it.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I don't sleep of course, i sit upright on my bed, leaning my head against the wall and thinking of nothing. The black, dark emptiness which has become my life. As soon as i feel my eyelids becoming heavy and my mind wandering off, i soon remember the sheer agony i am in and then i am wide awake again. And this continues for the next ten hours, until i see the morning sun creeping its way back in and i get up and sit in the living room instead.

"Don't guess that you slept at all?" I jump, as Phil stands in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. "No." I reply, going back to staring at the wall. "Coffee?" He asks, sitting down next to me. "No." I say. "Are you going to tell me what happened last night, or shall i guess?" I feel him look at me and slowly i turn my head to face him. "She came over, i thought that she left him but it turned out that she never wants to see me again." I say calmly, as if i was reading from a hopeless magazine article, no emotion in my voice. "Oh...right." Phil struggles for what to say to the man who has nothing.

He gets up after a few more seconds of painfully awkward silence and i hear him walk off. Later on, i get up to take a shower, but as i walk to the bathroom, i meet Phil who pauses for a second but then hugs me. I let myself feel his warmth and for a second i feel at ease, "Thanks." I say and he nods, understanding, making me realise just how much of a great friend he is.

I spend the rest of the morning on the internet, looking through twitter but not actually reading any posts, more of just doing something to occupy my brain. "Do you want to go for a walk with me?" Phil asks, sometime in the afternoon, i think about it for a minute and say no, but a few seconds later, i change my mind and dash out after him.

We walk, mostly in silence, through the local park, and i start to plan out my life in my mind. Ever so slowly coming to terms with what was happening. I would go back home for a few months, spend time with my family, maybe then travel around. Visit countries i wanted to go to, make new friends, film some videos and then see how i feel. Maybe find a job, settle down in a town and try to carry on with my life, the best that i can.

It's just when i beginning to imagine my life with someone else, my phone beeps.

I pull it out of my pocket and see that it is from Emily, i press on it, to see what it says and i am confused for a moment when i read it says, 'read it'. Then i remember the letter she left me, giving me the instructions to only open it when she told me to. And i had left it at home.

"What is it?" Phil asks, looking puzzled. "I was supposed to read this letter Emily gave me when she texted me, but i left it at home."

"You mean this letter?" Phil grins, as he pulls out the envelope from his pocket and passes it to me. "Yes, how did you know?" "Just read it Dan." He says, i nod and open it out, standing still in the park, while Phil watches me.

_Dear Dan,_

_I never thought that i would be writing this to you, but it's currently half three in the morning and i think that i will go mad if i don't do this. Please read this the whole way through, before you do anything and think through your actions._

_Where do i start? I don't think that i need to explain much to you, about how i feel. When we broke up, i never thought that i would feel the way i felt about you again, but i did with Mark, at least i did to start with. You were my entire world and i never wanted to wake up without seeing your smile first, never wanted to not see you, hug you, kiss you. I thought that i was beyond fixing, i've never felt heartache like that before, well until now._

_The real reason why i blocked you out for those silent weeks, was because Mark found about the pictures of us and went mad. He hit me Dan and since then i have been so scared to even think about you, let alone see you again. I took Mark back because i felt guilty about my feelings for you, i felt as though he was the victim and it should be me begging for forgiveness. _

_Seeing as you're reading this letter, i guess that i told you to and that you didn't look anyway. If i told you to then something must have happened, but please don't be too worried about it. I want you to meet me in Hyde Park, as soon as you can, but i understand if you don't come, i realise just how much i have screwed things up. Things in my life are complicated, messed up, wrong and you know that already, so just remind yourself of what you're letting yourself in for._

_Hope with my all my heart that you do come, and pray even more that you are happy with the decision that you make._

_Yours truly,_

_Emily_

I don't look up from the letter, too shaken to move a muscle. I am overcome with so many different emotions; sheer rage and hate for Mark, shock at learning about what happened, guilty that i caused all this to happen and hope. Hope that i can save her.

"Phil, why did you have the letter?" I repeat my question, "Because she told me to." "And why are we in Hyde park?" "She told me to take you here." "Why?" "Why don't you ask her yourself." I slowly look up from the letter and there she is, standing about 50 meters away, wearing the white dress, veil fluttering in the wind.

I feel my lips against hers, before i feel my legs sprinting towards her. "Because i love you." She says, tears running down her cheeks, her eyes focused on mine, "It was always you Dan, it was always going to be you."


	14. Chapter 14

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I've had some very weird experiences in my life, some i've tried hard to forget, still blushing till this day thinking about them. But i would say, without a shadow of doubt, that running through the center of London, in a wedding dress is the most strange, most weird, most unforgettable thing i have ever done. Equally, seeing Dan in Hyde Park was the most amazing feeling ever, watching him run towards me and once more hold me in his arms, the only place i have even felt safe.

"Here." he says, wiping off his jacket and placing onto my shaking shoulders. I smile up at him, unsure of what to say, what to do next. So he takes my hand in his and we walk in silence, back to his flat and it feels like all the peace and quiet in the world have gathered round us, shielding us from the outside world. I don't let myself think about the outside of our bubble, not yet anyway. I would deal with everything myself, of course i would, as vile as he is, he deserves to hear my side of the story, one last time.

Once we get back to the flat, we go and sit on Dan's bed, finally having the talk we needed for over a year. "I swear to you Em, i swear that i knew about him, what he did, then i would have...i would have." He struggles for words, taking both of my hands in his and looking into my eyes, "I don't know what i would have done to him Em, he...he doesn't deserve his life, he should be locked up away, forever." "Dan, don't. Please, i don't care about him, please can we just move on, together." I interrupt him, sensing his anger rising. "Listen though, Emily i promise you that i will always be here, this time i will, i swear down to you. I love you, in truth i never stopped loving you, this time i will be here." "I know Dan, i know." I say, resting my head on his, losing energy fast.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

After five minutes, i realise that she has fallen asleep, so as gently and as slowly i can, i lift her up and place her head on the pillow and tuck the duvet round her. I stand, for a minute, looking at her sheer beauty and the weirdness of seeing her in a wedding dress. I feel my fists clench, as i am reminded of what happened and i worry that i will not always be able to keep cool. How on Earth could someone do something as vile, as disgusting as he did to her? I have to leave the room before i lose control so I walk out to the living room.

Phil is sitting on the sofa, fiddling with his coat zip, he stands up when i walk in, looking surprised and worried. "Is she ok?" "Yes, i think so. Just tired out, i won't ask her any questions until she is fully awake. We need to deal with this properly, make sure that the right things happen." "Sp you're going to call the police?" "Yes, of course i am Phil. He hit her, he can't, he won't get away with it. I won't it happen. I'm going to lose her again Phil, no this time." He only nods and sits back down again, probably feeling on edge with me around.

I spend the next two hours sitting in the living room, researching cases similar to Emily's and finding programmes and information to help her through it. I print off a few leaflets on abuse and leaving on your wedding day for her and put them on the table, ready for her. "Why don' you go out Dan? Rather than coped up in here, driving me crazy." Phil says, looking concerned. "Ok." I say after a few moments of thought, "I'll just go to the shops to pick up a few things for her. You know, toothpaste, hairbrush. I'll be as quick as i can."

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I wake up with a terrible headache, and my dress in a huge mess. I tut as i stand up and see my appearance in the mirror, my veil half fallen off taking my hair with it and the skirt of my dress is all crumpled and messed up. I pull off the veil and walk out to the living room, feeling unsure and wanting to find Dan. No one is in the room, but i see Dan's laptop on the table and a pile of paper next to it. I pick them up, curious, and i am taken aback to see that they are 'self help' booklets. I drop them on the floor, scared and very worried that Dan thinks that i need help. Maybe i do, not many women leave their boyfriends at the altar and run back to their ex. Though still, i am shaken and suddenly the room becomes a lot smaller than i remember it by and the light fades away as quickly as turning off the tv.

"Emily! Emily! Wake up Emily! Dan?" I hear voices echo around me, i try to grip onto them, like i am falling through the sky, reaching out for a hand, a branch. "Emily!" The voice is one i know, though in the state i am in i can't put it to a face, or a name. I try to open my eyes, feeling frightened by the none moving black, but as i hard as i try, i just can't open them.

"Emily!" A new voice, this one is stronger, reaching down into me further. "Emily, please wake up! Don't go, stay here!" The more the voice speaks, the closer i feel to the person who is talking, until i finally remember who it is, who i am fighting for in the black. "Dan" I reply, feeling the light bonce back and i sit bolt upright. Staring in wonder at his face, looking as white as sheet but i notice a wave of relief wash over him. I put my arms round his neck, noticing that i am still on the floor in the living room, with Dan and Phil knelt beside me.

"Are you ok Emily?" He asks, stroking my hair softly, as if he might break me. "Yes, i think so. I just blacked out." "Sorry, we didn't want to move you Emily. In case we hurt you." Phil explains, picking up a couple of pillows and Dan places them under my head. "Do you think you need to go to hospital?" Dan asks, his eyes flickering towards his phone. "No, i feel alright now." I say, not convincing him. "Ok, you really scared me there Em, don't do that again." He jokes, as i lie back down. "Don't worry, i'll never leave you."

**NOTE**

**Hey everyone!**

**Sorry there was a couple of weeks break, i took break from writing after the climax, seeing as it was the holidays and i was struggling to find time to write! Just to make things clear, i am only about half way through this story, i still have a lot planned! **

**I hope you are enjoying the story so far and that you all had a lovely christmas!**

**Happy reading,**

**Lucyxxx**


	15. Chapter 15

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I bolt upright, panting, my eyes scanning the pitch black room. As my breaths get slower and more regular, i calm down, slowly moving back down to the pillow. I turn my head and see that Dan is fast asleep, looking so peaceful that he could be mistaken for a statue or a photograph. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, pulling through the tough knots till i am satisfied with its condition. Though all i want to do is to run my hands through my mind to try to straighten that out as well. As the minutes go by and my choice sinks in, i start to realise just what i have done and what i must deal with.

How can i face my family? After giving them no warning at all i ran out from what seemed like the perfect wedding and marriage. What will happen to the house? All my possessions, clothes, books, all the stuff that is my life, all gone. Will i have to pay for everything? Can we get any money back from wedding? And the one point that pulls me up from the deepest of sleeps, what will Mark do?

I start sobbing as i get up in all the mess that i have made and Dan wakes with a start next to me, pulling us both up and wrapping his arms tightly around me, pressing his lips to my head. "What is it?" He asks softly, pulling a strand of my hair back behind my ear. "I've made a huge mess of things Dan. I've hurt so many people and i have no idea how to make anything better or what will happen." I cry out, shaking my head in confusion and hopelessness.

"Sssh, stop crying Em. Listen to me, what happened today happened. You can't go back and change things so don't worry about that. As for your family, they will understand what you did and support you the whole, as will i. We can sit down with them and talk through everything, sort things out and no one will feel hurt. I promise you Emily, things will get better. You've already gotten through the hardest part and you've done the right thing by leaving him. No one is judging you, just worried for you."

"But what about him...i can't see him. I just can't!" I stutter out, feeling another wave of panic overcome me. "And you won't. You don't ever have to see him, talk to him, deal with him again. I will sort him out, don't you worry." Dan says, his words giving something to hold on to. Hope.

"Ok, you're right Dan, i'm sorry i woke you up. It just all piled up on top of me." "That's ok, i'll always be here for you Em. No matter what time or place." He kisses the top of my head and we both slide back down under the covers. His arms still protecting me from myself and everything else.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I leave Emily sleeping, the covers over her head so i can only see the top of her head. I wash and dress and head out to start sorting everything out for her. The first task being to buy some clothes for her to wear and to find her phone, at the hotel she was at, yesterday morning. I walk in slowly to the grand hallway of the 'white horse hotel', suddenly becoming very aware of my old skinny jeans and scruffy looking shoes.

I head to the desk, looking round in case i spot anyone from her family. The young male receptionist looks up from his computer, looking like i have just insulted him. "Yes?" He says, carefully. "Yes, um, i was wondering if you found a phone left in a room from yesterday?" I say, feeling embarrassed. "Let me just check. It's unlikely though, yesterday we had a wedding party staying so no public." He says the word 'public' like he means peasants and i struggle on, "Actually it belongs to one of the wedding party...the bride?" I add, feeling worse and worse as i talk more and more. "Oh...right." He says, his eyebrows rise, clearly surprised.

He types something and spends a few, painfully awkward seconds looking at his screen, frowning slightly. "Yes, i see that one of our maids did find the phone. I'll just pick it up for you from our lost and found closet. Just one second please." He walks quickly off, leaving me leaning on the desk. I turn round to marvel at the room fully, the huge glass windows, sparkling chandeliers and the massive wooden staircase in the center of the room.

I hear voices from one of the doors on the other side of the room and turn back round, staring at the desk. "Keep trying her phone. She'll have to pick sometime, can't hide from me forever. Not after what she did." I feel my heart race and adrenaline fills my body as my brain realises who the voice belongs to and i think desperately of what to do. Should i just stay here, hope that they'll walk away and won't see my face? Or could i make a run for it? The doors aren't that far away and once i'm on the street, i'm safe in the crowd of shoppers.

"I still can't believe what happened, how could she do that to me? Here's me thinking that this will be the best day of my life and it's the worst! I'd better get the money back, crummy hotel." My nightmare gets worse as i hear the voices get nearer, until they are right behind me. I feel sick as silence sets in and i beg with all my heart that the receptionist comes back soon, so i can get out of here.

A few seconds later a female receptionist comes to the desk and smiles quickly at me, "Your phone is coming sir, sorry for delay. If you can just wait here while i deal with the other customers." I nod and shuffle to the side, still keeping my head down. "Yes sir, how can i help you?" I feel a rush of anger as i hear how differently he is being treated to me. "I want to see the manager." He says coldly and sternly. "Yes sir, though i'm afraid you'll have to wait for him though, he is in a meeting currently." "Well i can't wait! I demand to speak to somebody right now!" I see her jump slightly, taken aback by his rudeness and sudden increase in volume.

She pauses before she can answer him back, "Well like i said sir, you will have to wait. Why don't you sit in the lounge and i'll have someone bring you a drink over?" "No!" I look up at him, daring to make eye contact as i gather the strength to talk. "Don't talk to her like that." I say, as bravely as i can. He turns, shocked at me and then it sinks in and he realises who i am.


	16. Chapter 16

I close my eyes as his fist comes soaring towards my face, the impact of it sends me stumbling back, my arms flying about; trying to hold onto something. I feel myself hit the hard stone floor and a woman screaming. I open my eyes and see Mark towering above me, his face bright red and screwed up. "How dare you come here!" He storms at me, "After all that you've done, you come parading in here! Well you two deserve each other!" I see two men come rushing in, both grabbing him back by each arm.

I grab onto the desk and pull myself up, feeling a brand new sense of feeling strong and brave enough to confront him. "You know full well why she left you! I'm not surprised after what you did to her! How can you look yourself in the mirror, knowing what you've done? How can you carry on like nothing has happened? Like you're the perfect husband!" I shout back, feeling all the rage and anger come steaming out. "What?" He replies, shocked at my knowledge. "I know what you did to her, Mark. She told me everything. Every punch. Every kick. And you know what? You make me sick."

My voice is surprisingly calm as i give him one last look of hatred and walk out of the lobby, holding my head (slightly throbbing) high. It's not until i am letting myself back into the flat, that i catch a look of myself in the mirror and see the red blood covering my lower lip and i suddenly worry about how Emily will react.

I see Phil first, talking on the phone to someone. His eyebrows raise and he stands shocked as i walk past him, and to my room. Emily isn't in there so i start to try to clean up my face, the best that i can. I dab carefully at the cut, wincing as the wet towel stings my lip. "Are you alright?" I jump, looking up and seeing her standing next to me, looking worriedly at bright red spot on the towel. "Oh yes, i'm fine." I rush out, chucking the towel in the corner, hoping that i'm not being too obvious.

"Why was there blood...wait are you hurt? What happened to you Dan? Who did that?" She asks, her fingers reaching to my face, hovering over my cut. Assessing the damage. I put my hand on hers, trying to reassure her. "Tell me Dan!" She says, clearly scared. "Ok, but try not to freak out Em. Please, just listen." I wait and she nods, still looking like i have come back missing a hand or something terrible like that.

"Ok...so when i went to pick up your phone from the hotel, i kind of bumped into Mark. He lost it and hit me, only once though. That's it." I pause, watching her react, but i can't tell how she feels. "That's it? You say it like it's no big deal! Dan, my ex-fiance hit you at the hotel where i was supposed to be marrying him!" I avoid her eye contact as she explodes, letting go of her stress which must have built up over the past week.

"Why did he hit you? What did you say? What did he say? Please tell me that you didn't hit him back! Oh Christ, this is as bad as i thought it would be! He must be so upset and angry! Why did i let you go in the first place? God, i'm so stupid! Everything is so messed up!" She paces the floor, her hands running through her hair and fresh tears appearing in her eyes. I walk up and grab her hands, forcing her to stop moving.

"Listen Em, i need you to calm down. Sit down and take a deep breath in and a deep breath out." I instruct her, as she stops talking and i sit next to her. "Yes he hit me, i didn't hit him back. Making him the worst person. He said the usual angry stuff and i gave him a piece of my mind. Maybe i shouldn't have, but i did and that's in the pass. I was going to see him at some point and maybe it was best to just get that over with, without you having to have seen it. It wasn't your fault, the only person to blame is him. Emily, you need to stop freaking out so much and scaring yourself. It's not going to help anyone. This is a crappy time we're going through, but it brought us back together and that's how it's going to stay."

I pause, she closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder, "I'm sorry Dan; for causing you all this mess and getting hit by Mark. I promise that once this is all over i'll be a better girlfriend. I might even be able to go a day without crying!" I laugh with her at her joke, something that hasn't happened since she came back. "I know Em, one day everything will be sorted and we will barely remember days like today."


	17. Chapter 17

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I spent the rest of the day with Dan, sitting on his desk and researching everything that we think of that we would need to know, and i am even brave enough to talk to Dan about the possibility of needing professional help.

In the early evening, we take a short walk around the local area, not speaking a word. Just the both of us enjoying the peace and letting everything sink in. Which, to me, felt amazing. Last year i would have never have believed that me and Dan would be back together, yet here we were. Holding hands as we walk together, never having felt so close to somebody like this before. And in that moment, i actually thought that it would all stay like this, our perfect little world all starting to come together, but little did i know that things were only just getting started. I had no idea what was coming our way, even though it was just around the corner...

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

"Are you sure that you'll be ok?" "Please Dan, i've already answered this question a million times before. Just go, or you'll miss your plane." I say, almost pushing him out of the door. "Well ok then, i'll call you when i get to airport and when we land." "I know, i know. Please try not to worry the whole time though. Go, meet your friends, meet your fans and have a great time, like i know you will. I'll be here when you get back, promise."

I give him my best smile just show him that i will survive the week, and he kisses me one last time, before Phil pulls him out of the door. "Bye!" He waves at me, a half grin, still half worried expression on his face. But Phil tugs again and both of them disappear round the corner, where they are catching a plane to Vidcon, in America.

I close the door and lean my back against it, breathing slowly out. I jump forward as someone knocks the door and i beam as i open it, already knowing who will be on the other side. "Sorry, i just had to kiss you one last time." He explains, leaning forwards as our lips meet together, sending a shiver down my spine. "Don't do anything stupid whilst i'm gone Em. I mean it, don't contact him to try to sort things out yourself. I''ll be back soon, i love you." And then he goes again, leaving me still a little breathless from being caught off guard.

It wasn't that i was worried about being left alone, which was making me so nervous, it was the fact that Dan still didn't think that i was ok, or even to be fully trusted on my own. Ok, it had only been just over two weeks since i ran out on Mark, but i had already become so much stronger since then. Which was partly why i had planned to go round to Mark's house and just simply collect a box of my things, which my mum had told me were waiting for me, by the front door.

I knew that if Dan knew what i was doing, then he would hit the roof, go mad and probably sulk at me all week. But him going away was the perfect chance to do this, to prove to myself that i could do it. That i wasn't just a run-away-bride.

I pull on my coat forcefully, slip my shaking feet into my pumps, and head out towards the nearest tube station.

The journey was event-less and it felt so weird walking down the same street again. Seeing my old neighbours, whom many gave me strange looks, no doubt having heard the news, but i kept on walking, faster and stronger as i neared the house, not having a key anymore, i knocked once on the old wooden door. As i waited i heard my heart beat fasten, as my nerves grew stronger and i suddenly wondered why i had come and whether that i should just leave now.

Just as i about to turn away, the door opens and there he is. Staring straight at me, with a look of sheer shock and still that mix of amazement.

"Hello." I say, watching as he turns white. "Hi." He mumbles, and as i we stand there i start to notice a few things, like how messy his usually neat hair is, the dark circles under his eyes, his ceased old top hanging loosely and the strangest of all: the gold wedding ring placed on his finger. "Are you here for your stuff?" He asks quietly, stepping back as to let me inside. "Yes, if that's ok, and maybe to talk about things. I owe you an explanation." I say, feeling a new wave of confidence as i walk though to the kitchen.

"Yes, of course. Could i get you a drink?" He asks, as if we were old friends. "No, i'm ok thanks. Look Mark, i think that we both know why i left you, but how i did it was unforgivable." "Yes, i understand why you left now. And honestly Emily, not a second goes past when i don't hate myself for what i did. I've barely slept a wink since what happened, even when we were still together, i just...i just." He shakes his head, bending over as he starts to cry. I watch myself in shock, as i find myself walking to him and consoling him. "I deserved everything i got in the end Emily, actually i got off lightly. You should have gone down the that and told everyone there what i did and then have run off." "No Mark, don't be so stupid. Please don't be hard on yourself."

My words shock me, as i lead him to the living room, where we sit down on one of the sofas. "I would understand if you went to the police Emily" He says, looking down. "What? No, i'm not going to do that Mark. I don't believe that i would find any sort of closure in that. Why make this drag on any longer? What i think we should do is, i take all my stuff. Move out, leave you with a clean break, a new start. You're a good man Mark, you made a mistake, but you've learned from that."

He slowly raises his head, stopping crying for the first time since i had arrived. Strangely he starts laughing and shaking his head, "You know Emily, i thought that you couldn't get anymore amazing, yet you've managed to get more perfect somehow. You have the most purest heart and you deserve to be happy." "Thank you Mark, and i think that i am." "Good, and please send my apologies to Dan for the other day... even though he doesn't have to accept them. Though he must be as great as you, letting you come here on your own." "Actually, he doesn't know i'm here. He's flying to America today." I admit, feeling guilty.

"Oh." Is all he says and silence fills the room. I find myself thinking about how well it went and how little i knew of Mark. As i am deep in my thoughts, i realise that he is leaning to me and getting closer, his eyes closing and his lips pursing. It dawns on me then, that he is leaning to kiss me!

My eyes widen all i can think of to do is lean back as far as i can go. I find my hand reaching out and slapping him, his eyes open and he sits still. "How could i have been so stupid!" i say, a little louder than my usual voice, i stand up to move further away from him, "I thought that i was being harsh on you! I had changed my mind about you, but no! You're still the same cunning, sly, manipulative person, you always were!" I start shouting, "God, some people never change! I'm glad i didn't marry you Mark, i'm glad that you hit me! You know why? Because you made see who you really were!"

With that i storm out of the room, grab the cardboard box in the hallway and walk out the house, making sure to slam the door on my way out.


	18. Chapter 18

Once i had gotten back to the flat, i collapsed onto the sofa, still out of breath and slightly in shock. Deep down i didn't think that i would be able to actually walk back in the house, but now that i had done it, i was so relieved. But, i was still debating whether or not to tell Dan If he would be more upset with me now, or if i waited a few months instead. We had planned to skype later that evening, once he had settled in the hotel and that would be the perfect chance to tell him.

I unpack my stuff that i had brought back, mostly just my clothes, underwear, a few photos, books and a few films. I feel ever-so-slightly touched that he thought to pack my favourite films, but then i remember what he did and i just chuck the DVDs on the shelf, forcing myself to stay upset with him.

I cook myself some pasta for dinner, with some chicken i find in the fridge. I sniff the meat cautiously, not fully trusting the 'use by date', but my hunger wins and i dig in nevertheless. I set up my laptop and whilst i wait for Dan, i quickly put my plate away in the dishwasher. I run back, as i hear the call coming through and find myself overjoyed as Dan pops up on my screen.

"Hey Em, how are you?" he asks, smiling and waving. "I'm good thanks, how was the flight over? Is Phil there?" "Yes, he's just here." Dan moves the laptop at his end, so i can see Phil who beams and waves, "Flight was ok, very long though. Missing you already honey." "Same, so when are you meeting your fans?" Dan moves the screen back, adjusting it and himself as he sits on the bed. "In an hour and a half i think, it's just a quick one though. Main meetings are tomorrow. Are you up to much today?" I pause, still stuck at the crossroads. "Not much, just a lazy day. Might meet up with some friends tomorrow, do some shopping and grab some lunch for a catch up."

"Sounds good. Has the flat burnt down yet?" "Hey! No it hasn't. Actually, i'll have you know that i cooked dinner all by myself tonight! No takeaways here thank you very much!" i joke, but as i mention food i suddenly feel incredibly nauseous and dizzy. "Haha. Can't say the same thing here though, think that room service might have to sort us out some food!" but i barely listen to Dan, as the room starts spinning and i have to jump up and sprint to the bathroom, to be violently sick.

I take three deep breaths in and out, before i return to the living room, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, as a pale, weak faced Emily looks back at me. I sit back down on the sofa, "Sorry about that, i think that the chicken must have been off." "Are you alright Em?" He moves closer to the screen, looking worried. "Yeah, i feel a bit better now. Just tired." "Well maybe i should go, leave you to get some rest." "Ok." "i'll text you later then. Let me know if you feel any worse." " I will." I reply, feeling like i am taking orders from my parents. "Love you Em, miss you loads." "Bye, love you too." I say, he blows me a kiss and then the screen goes black.


	19. Chapter 19

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I pace up and down, as everyone sits on the floor, exhausted and bored. "Dan, just sit down. You're making me dizzy, walking around." Louise complains, as i nod and awkwardly sit on the floor, in middle of her and Phil. "Sorry, it's just we've been waiting so long now. We should have been half way there by now." I point out, pulling out my phone and checking for a reply from Emily. "And stop checking your phone every two seconds, i'm sure that she can cope without you." Phil adds. But it's no good, and i get up again, walking off in search of something to do to pass the time.

I had been at the airport, along with all the other British youtubers, waiting to get our plane back to the UK, for three and a half hours. The flight had kept being getting delayed and all of our patience were wearing thin. I had updated Emily on what time we were leaving, but she hadn't replied to any of my texts, which was very unlike her. Phil and Louise kept reassuring me, that she fine, probably busy somewhere and had forgotten to text back, just like me. I had nodded along, but now i was starting to worry more.

I found a quiet corner, about three minutes away from the others, where i rang Emily, but she's engaged so, i am, greeted with her voice mail. "Hi Em, it's me. Just wanted to say that we should be departing in half an hour, so get the kettle on! Hope you're ok though, you know me, just worrying about you not texting back, hope you didn't get murdered. Anyway, see you soon. Love you." I hang up and walk back to everyone.

The flight is long and i am the only person not to fall asleep. I lie, wide awake in my seat, looking out of my window at the black of the night sky. I imagine, Emily sitting at home, waiting for me to come back. Suddenly, i can't wait to get back, to hold her again in my arms, kiss her and tell her that i love her. Being back with Emily is the best thing that has ever happened to me, whenever i feel down all i have to do is just to remind myself that i am in love with the most amazing girl and that she loves me too.

As i am thinking about her an idea pops into my head, an idea so exciting and so thrilling, that i have to wake Phil up. "What Dan?" He says groaning, as he opens his eyes, looking like he is still half asleep. "Phil, tell me if this is a stupid idea, but i've been thinking and i want to propose to Emily." I watch as he sits bold upright, his eyes wide open. "Wait, are you being serious? You're really going to ask her to marry you?" "Ssh, and yes. What do you think?" "I think that you're sleep deprived and slightly crazy right now." "What do you mean?" "I mean, that it was only just over a month ago that she was getting married to another person! Dan, it's way too soon. I'm not saying that you two should never get married, because you should, and you will. But not now. Think about how she will feel, coming out of one serious relationship and going straight into another."

My heart sinks as i realise that he is completely right, what was i thinking? Of course i couldn't just ask her to marry me, not this soon. "Yeah, you're right Phil. I don't what i was thinking. Thanks." "That's ok Dan, but don't take it the wrong way. You will get married one day, you two are perfect for each other." I nod and then find myself falling very quickly, and very deeply asleep.

**EMILY'S P.O.V.**

I lie on the sofa, staring at the TV, but not actually watching the programme. I fiddle with my hair, putting into one large plait, taking it out and then re-plaiting it. Over and over again. I drift in and out of sleep, not knowing what i want to do, but knowing that i have do something to stop myself from going mad. As i am staring into the fridge, it hits me that i am suffering an existential crisis and the one person who could help the most, is about 4000 miles away. I search the flat for my phone, as my mind races with questions. What am i doing with my life? What do i want to do with my life? Where will i be in five years time? How did i get in such a mess?

I find my phone in a pile of blankets on the sofa, i ignore my new messages and ring Dan, not caring about where he will be. A robotic sounding woman tells me that he is engaged and i leave a message instead. "Hey you, it's just little old me. Hope you're having a good flight, or whatever you're doing. Not to worry you or anything, but i think that i may be having an existential crisis. Haha, i know, i must have been hanging around with you for too long. Anyway, can't wait to see you when you get back, love you."

I take a long hot bath, just letting myself close my eyes, as i slowly find myself being pulled into a deep sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

I check my watch for the millionth time that morning, as i hop out of the taxi and rush into the airport. I look up at the screens above me, along with all the other people waiting for their flights or their loved ones. As soon as i see Dan's flight come up, i start speed walking in the direction of the terminal, brushing past people's suitcases and crying children sitting on the floor.

Eventually, i make it to the right terminal, finding myself suddenly surrounded by people, all waiting for the plane to land. Looking around me, i check my watch, five minutes till they land. I sense the anticipation of everyone around me, feeling slightly claustrophobic. There must at least a couple of hundred people here, all watching the large window and the double doors at the other side of the room.

I hear someone's phone ring next to me, i am pushed out of the way as he pulls out his phone to answer. "What! You're kidding me!" He shouts, making everyone turn round to look at him. "Fine, i'll see you tomorrow then." Just as he is turning to stomp off, the sign above the door changes to say, _flight delayed 3 hours due to bad weather. _

One by one, people start to sigh, mumble something angry and then walk away. Soon it is just me and i realise that i should just go as well, Dan will understand that i can't wait all day for him.

As i walk back to the main hall, my feelings are drown-trodden and i feel like crying. I really needed Dan back, this week without him had been the longest, quietest and loneliest week i had ever experienced. I decide to cook back and cook a meal for him instead, i could find a recipe on the taxi journey back.

Just as i am reaching the exits, i hear something, "Emily!" At first it is distant and i don't register it, but the voice gets louder each call. "Emily! Emily! Wait!" People turn round to look at the person shouting, i peer over people's shoulders to get a look, when i see him. Running towards me, cheeks bright red, hair sweeped to one side and looking determined as people part to let him through.

"Emily!" He calls again, this time with a smile on his face as i make eye contact with him. I run towards him, meeting him in the middle of a large group of people. He wraps his arms around me immediately, our lips meeting as we hunger for each other's touch. I jump up, my legs on his arms as we hold each closely and tightly. "Dan." I say, out of breath. Smiling so much, it feels like i could never feel sad again.

After we finish kissing, i jump back down on the floor, brushing my hair back behind my ears, feeling flustered. "I've missed you so much Em." He says, his fingers gracing my cheek. "Me too. How come you got back? I thought that the flight was delayed." "Yeah, it was. But at the last minute, me, Phil and Louise managed to get another plane. I just couldn't stand being away from you for any longer. I love you so much Emily." "I love you too Dan." I reply, as we kiss again, running my hands through the back of his hair.

**DAN'S P.O.V.**

I stroke Emily's hair in the taxi back home, she leans on my shoulder, facing the window, but in the reflection i can see that her eyes are closed. Her soft, silky hair covers part of my arm, i notice how much longer it is since i met her again later that year. I watch as her stomach goes in and out, in time with her breathing. How her lips sit together, looking so perfect and at peace, that she could be a painting.

We drop Louise off at the underground and Phil moves into her seat, to give me and Emily more space. By the time that we arrive back home, she looks so deeply asleep that i can't bring myself to wake her, so i carefully swoop her up in my arms and manage to carry her. She wakes up as we step inside, waiting for the lift. At first she looks puzzled, but she bursts out laughing when she realises that i am carrying her.

"Wow Dan! Someone's showing off! You must be stronger than i thought." She jokes, grinning up at me, which makes my heart seem to beat twice as fast. "Come on, you can put me down now. I think that i can manage to get into a lift by myself." Although i want to keep her in my arms, i let her down and settle for just holding her hand.

Once me and Phil have unpacked, Emily makes us all a cup of tea and we sit on the sofa and catch up. I show her the photos and videos we took, and Phil and me sort out all the amazing gifts our fans gave us. A lot of the letters i read, make me cry, but some of the stuff we get is just out of this world. From little doll versions of me and Phil to huge boxes of sweets.

Phil leaves to skype his parents after we finish sorting everything out, leaving me and Em curled up on the sofa together.

"I really did miss you Em. All the time i kept thinking, wouldn't this be great if Em was here, or, Em would love this." "I know Dan, but we did the right thing. It was good to have some time apart, give us both some space to think." "Yeah." I reply, as she moves to get more comfortable. I put my arm around her neck, and she nuzzles in to my chest.

"Are you ok?" I ask, as she moves her legs around. "Yeah, i just can't get comfy. Feel a bit weird, it's hard to describe." "Oh...right. Can i get you anything?" I ask, watching as she frowns. "No, i'll be ok Dan. Well, at least now that you're back."


	21. Chapter 21

**ONE MONTH LATER**

"There we go!" Emily says, beaming as she stands up, dusting her hands together, "That is the last box, so i am now officially moved in!" I move to her, she throws her arms around my neck and i lift her off the ground. Kissing her as i twirl us round. "I think that this calls for a celebration!" I say, lowering her to the ground and just wrapping my arms round her waist. "Yes! Oh we should go out tonight! Phil, me and you!" "Yeah, great idea. You can pick where we go." I say, closing my eyes and facing into her hair, breathing in her floral scent.

"Come on then lazy, no point in just standing here." She says, but doesn't move an inch. "Ok, i'll move." I say, not moving either. She laughs a little, turns to face me and we kiss. Slowly. Softly. Perfect. "Come on!" She says again, this time moving back and walking out of the room, pulling me behind her.

We collect Phil from his room, looking relieved to be having a break from editing his recent video of our trip to America. I had planned to help him edit it together, but since we had got back, i had spent all my time with Emily. Either helping her move in, cook with her, plan videos with her or just lying on the sofa with her, holding her in my arms and feeling entirely and completely content.

We step out into the darkness of the early evening, i watch as she shivers and clings to my arm to get warm. "Where are we going?" Phil asks, buttoning up his coat. "It's a surprise!" She says, grinning as we follow her through the dark streets, our breath visible in front of us.

"Here we go then." She announces, stopping outside of a restaurant, close to the river, with dozens of lights dotted along the wall running along the river. At first i don't make the connection of why she chose it, but then as she waits for me to realise, it snaps. I don't say anything, suddenly overcome with emotion, she walks to me, i hold her tight. "The restaurant where we saw each other again in." I whisper in her ear. She moves her head back to look at me, "Sometimes i wonder what would have happened if we hadn't bumped into each other. Whether i would have married him, or still have left him." "You know what?" I step back, so that Phil can hear, "That was the best thing that ever happened to me, seeing you again. You...you just make everything seem so right, so perfect."

Then i remember the conversation that i had with Phil on the flight back, how it didn't seem right to propose then, but now...now it did. Without another seconds thought, i found myself kneeling on the floor, watching as Emily's face turns to shock, her hands covering up her mouth. She steps back slightly, turning a ghostly white, but i carry on. No turning back once you get down on one knee, i think to myself.

"Emily." I start, already noticing tears running down her cheek, "Emily, i don't have planned for this. To be honest, it was a spur of the moment. I love you Emily, so much that sometimes i feel as though my heart will explode it's so full." More tears start rolling down her face, and she starts to shake her head, "I can't imagine my life without you and i don't want to. So, Emily, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

But something's not right, she carries on shaking her head and i see the worry and panic in her eyes. "Dan...Dan. How? I mean, why? I mean...i don't know what i mean. I, I." She starts sobbing and then walks off, half jogging away. I stay on the floor, too shocked and scared to move. The sound of her heels on the floor fades away and Phil helps me up, "Dan, i'm so sorry." I can't reply, can't think.


End file.
